


Release the Gas and Pump the Brakes Gently to Avoid Spinning Out

by Daiya_Darko



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bisexuality, Break Up, F/M, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the surface, this is a story about a man and his ex-boyfriend, but this is actually about a man and his best friend who happens to be Nyota Uhura, coolest chick to cruise the galaxy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Release the Gas and Pump the Brakes Gently to Avoid Spinning Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jessicamiriamdrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicamiriamdrew/gifts), [readbetweenthelions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/readbetweenthelions/gifts).



There are a lot of good reasons to be friends with Nyota Uhura, and if you were to ask Hikaru Sulu why, he would be able to create a presentation citing the benefits from start to finish with examples and references. In fact, Uhura ranks highly on his list of top ten people to ever exist, somewhere between Tupac Shakur and Carl Sagan (above Carl Sagan, if you must know, but Uhura’s flow is nowhere near Tupac’s). Hikaru hasn’t loved anyone as much as he loves Nyota, except Pavel Chekov, and Pavel ranks above Nyota (but not Tupac).

So when Pavel tells Hikaru it’s over, Hikaru doesn’t hear him for a second. The words are so simple and common, spoken in Standard, but they don’t make sense.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s not your fault, it is just that -”

“Wait, no, I mean...I don’t understand what you mean.”

Pavel sighs, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and looking away. “We should see other people.”

Suddenly, Hikaru’s operating on all ten cylinders as his mind shifts gears, adjusting and catching up quickly. “You mean _you_ want to see other people. Because I love you. I love being with you. To me, you’re perfect. Am I not good enough?”

Pavel flinches, his face turning scarlet. “Hikaru, it is not you. I was not looking to...fall for someone else.”

Hikaru runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Alright, that’s fair. I mean, you’re still young and all, so of course you’d want to - “

“Stop. Stop that. You always act as if I do things because I am young; maybe I do things for reasons I cannot explain to myself or anyone else. Maybe I know exactly what I’m doing and why. But you must stop patronizing me. Leonard doesn’t -”

Hikaru snaps, “You’re fucking McCoy?”

“That’s none of your business,” Pavel huffs indignantly, folding his arms across his chest. “I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Hikaru scoffs. “Have fun with Leonard “Already Married to Kirk” McCoy.”

It’s a low blow, Hikaru will admit to himself later, but it feels good to see the look of discomfort roll over Pavel like a wave of nausea. Once Hikaru’s alone in his room, he gets undressed, crawls under his blankets, and comms Nyota.

Hopefully his best friend hasn’t also conspired against him as well.

She shows up in sweatpants, glasses, her hair pulled up into a messy bun, and an old Starfleet track and field shirt (must be Spock’s, because she only did wrestling). She climbs into bed with Hikaru and asks, “Did you act stubborn?”

“No, maybe, I don’t know,” Hikaru mumbles. “I told him McCoy’s more interested in Kirk anyways.”

“Bad move, Hikaru.”

“I know, but I love him so much and he sounded so tired of me. Are you tired of me? Am I an awful person to be around?”

Nyota hums quietly, thinking to herself, then replies, “You don’t fold your underwear, you forget to clean the drain, you don’t wipe water off the sink, and you have questionable taste in music. You like pineapple on your pizza, you have an unhealthy obsession with 20th and 21st century rappers, and you once claimed you were letting mold grow as an experiment when really you’re just lazy about cleaning your refrigerator out. But an awful person? Not a chance, kid,” Nyota smiles.

Nyota Uhura: Best woman alive, best person in the universe, best everything.

Hikaru laughs, even as a few tears slide down his cheek, and Nyota wipes them away with the sheet.

“Thank you for the performance review. Please come back at the end of the quarter for a reevaluation why don’t you,” Hikaru laughs. “I just can’t believe he got on me for treating him like a kid. Do you remember what McCoy said to him the first time he found out Pavel’s age? That was so condescending and all I do is make sure he’s making good choices.”

“Maybe Pavel doesn’t want to make good choices.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Maybe this is his rebellious phase and you’re being a total square.”

“Excuse you, I’m a parallelogram, thank you very much.”

“Whatever, rhombus. Point is, Pavel’s sick of being boxed in. McCoy’s got that...dangerous feel to him, but he’s safe. He doesn’t shave regularly, he glares a lot, even when he’s flirting he sounds annoyed, but Pavel would never be in any real danger of getting hurt. That’s why he’s not with Jim.”

The idea of Pavel with Kirk makes Hikaru groan inwardly. “If he left me for Jim, I’d have to transfer ships. It’s bad enough the way he acts when McCoy shows up on the bridge for no reason.”

Nyota laughs. “I know right? Those two are disgusting around each other. All that pent up sexual tension and all they do is just tease each other back and forth.”

They chat for a bit about the captain and their ship’s doctor, other people on the ship, upcoming missions, and Hikaru finds himself aching less and less over Pavel. Yes, it’s over for now, but if Nyota is right (and she always is), then Pavel’s just exploring himself and will come back eventually.

Hopefully.

* * *

 

When Pavel slips and slides down a steep mountain side, Hikaru begins to spring into action, ready to follow him over, but he steels himself in his spot and tries not to be bitter when he sees McCoy swearing as he carefully climbs down after him.

Hikaru sees a large bruise on Pavel’s neck the next day when they’re on the bridge, and he suspects it has nothing to do with the other scrapes and bruises on Pavel’s face and arms.

Hikaru doesn’t like being bitter. It leaves the taste of sour almonds in the back of his mouth.

* * *

 

The beauty of Nyota is that she’s always a message away, but Hikaru forces himself to not resort to calling her at every turn. First of all, they’re not dating - Spock and Uhura are. Secondly, familiarity breeds contempt. Thirdly, Hikaru wouldn’t be able to handle that much exposure to perfection, so he keeps it all measured out carefully.

But today on the bridge, McCoy shows up - as per usual - and banters with the captain. There’s something strange about the way they’re talking - quieter than normal, almost as if trying to keep a secret - and Hikaru meets Nyota’s eye from across the bridge.

Then Hikaru looks over at Pavel and realizes he’s doing that pouty thing he does when he’s trying not to say something but is upset by what’s going on. Hikaru looks back over at Nyota, who’s grinning from ear to ear now, and Hikaru finds himself sharing the same expression.

“Something funny, Mr. Sulu?” Kirk’s voice asks, snapping Hikaru back to focus. Kirk’s face belies his serious tone, a curious smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth.

“Not necessarily captain,” Hikaru answers as plainly as possible. Even so, he looks at McCoy and is met with a glare that could melt lead.

Hikaru gives one last look to Nyota before turning around and focusing on the numbers on his control panels.

There will definitely be words about this.

 

“I think my favorite part was when Spock even had to ask if McCoy was alright, because the way he was still looking at you after you’d turned around was ridiculous,” Nyota laughs. She takes a bite of yogurt and waves over to Spock as he enters the galley.

Once Spock is seated he turns to Hikaru and asks, “Have you upset the captain or doctor in some such way as to warrant the response you received this morning?”

Hikaru shrugs. “I didn’t say anything to either of them or do anything. I haven’t even spoken to Pavel outside of the bridge since we broke up, so I really have no clue.”

“Well, it looks like your beloved is eating dinner by himself tonight,” Nyota motions with her spoon to where Pavel sits hunched over his tray alone. Hikaru glances around the room, and realizes Kirk’s not around, and neither is McCoy.

“Does Kirk eat in his quarters often?” Hikaru asks Spock.

“Indeed, the captain does. He has a yeoman bring him his meals, and if he’s having dinner with another person, he has their meal brought there as well.”

“Do you think McCoy could be there right now?” Nyota asks eagerly.

Spock raises an eyebrow, and Hikaru rolls his eyes. “I will not indulge in any further gossip with either of you.”

“Spock, please! Hikaru needs to know why his ex is miserable,” Nyota pleads, and Hikaru pretends to wheeze, as if he’s slowly dying. “Listen to him. He’s so thirsty he might die.”

“Hey!” Hikaru throws a balled up napkin at Nyota, but still laughs. “I’m not _that_ thirsty.”

“But you do want to know why Pavel’s not with his new sugar daddy. Go ask.”

“I agree, lieutenant. If it will bring you peace of mind, perhaps you should take the initiative to inquire yourself.”

And if Spock is telling you that you should do something, you know you should probably do it, so Hikaru makes his way over to Pavel’s table and sits down without asking. Pavel frowns at him, and then Hikaru realizes he’s probably still smiling. He clears his throat and sits up straight, forcing the grin away.

“How are you?”

“Why do you want to know?”

Hikaru rears back briefly. “I’m sorry, if you don’t wanna talk then just say so,” Hikaru holds up his hands in defense and begins to stand, but then Pavel is shaking his head.

“I am sorry, I just had a bad night last night and I guess I will have a bad night tonight as well,” Pavel sighs. “Leonard and I fought.”

“Oh,” Hikaru says, trying to mask the joy bubbling inside. “I’m sorry. What about?”

“I should not talk about it with you. You are my ex, Hikaru.”

“Hey,” Hikaru leans over the table and touches Pavel’s hand gently. “I’m not just your ex. I’m still your friend.”

And like that, Pavel opens up, crying onto his baklava about how he questioned McCoy’s fidelity, and McCoy responded poorly by yelling at Pavel and accusing him of being an immature brat. And now McCoy was avoiding him and even decided to eat dinner at Kirk’s, and Pavel is worried.

“Well, usually if someone’s that defensive, it means they’re hiding something because you’re right.”

“But he was so angry! He asked me why I would think that and I told him you had warned me of this.”

“Well, that explains why he looked like he wanted to kill me today,” Hikaru sighs.

Pavel blushes. “I am sorry. I did not mean for this to affect you.”

“It’s fine,” Hikaru shrugs. “Just...what are you going to do about it?”

“What can I do but apologize for accusing him of such a thing as cheating?”

“You shouldn’t apologize for asking a question. He should apologize for treating you so horrid.”

Pavel shakes his head, wiping at his face. “He does not treat me bad at all. He’s very sweet and considerate. This is just...unexpected. I guess I’ll get used to it.”

Hikaru slams his hand on the table before he can stop himself. He doesn’t tolerate anyone treating the people he loves like shit, ex or otherwise. “Don’t you dare. Don’t settle for this. Tell him he needs to get his emotions under control. You need to nip this in the bud before it becomes abusive.”

“You’re so paranoid,” Pavel snorts. “Thanks for the advice, I guess.” He picks up his tray and leaves without another word, but Hikaru is still boiling under the surface.

He and Pavel only dated for a year, but Hikaru never disclosed that he’s seen men like Leonard in action, seen how bad it can get. It starts with unnecessary yelling, and ends in a restraining order and Hikaru's knuckles bloodied while he hugs his sister.

* * *

 

Pavel and McCoy seem to be doing better later, and Hikaru smiles to himself, because he wants to think that maybe what he said got through to him. Then he sees Kirk appear out of nowhere, slinging an arm around McCoy’s shoulders, and Pavel seems to curl up within himself.

* * *

 

On the first day of shore leave, Hikaru and Nyota have a “Bi’s Day Out” as they call it to remain gender neutral. There are other bisexual people on the ship besides them, they’re sure but all that matters to them is each other in that respect. They head out, grab some spa treatments, browse clothes, and check out cute guys and girls in coffee shops.

As they sit at a table located on the street, Nyota asks, “So it’s been six months. How are you feeling?”

“About?”

Nyota gives him a cautionary look over her glasses. “I don’t like my chai with denial, Hikaru.”

Sighing, Hikaru sits back and adjusts his shirt. “I still worry about him a lot. At first, it was just that I didn’t want McCoy to break his heart, but now...”

“You don’t want McCoy to _break_ him.”

“Yeah.”

“Pavel’s a big boy. He’s been through more shit at nineteen than you or me. I think he can handle this.”

“But that’s the thing: what we’ve been through, that was bigger and above us. When your boyfriend is an abusive asshole, you don’t notice it, or you decide ‘at least it’s not a homicidal eugenics freak trying to kill me.’ You begin bargaining and making excuses because it’s not that bad.”

Nyota nods. “Did you warn him?”

“I tried.”

“Then that’s all that you can do.”

“But not all injuries appear where you can see them,” Hikaru sighs. “And I know he’s hurting.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, and then Nyota says quietly without looking up, “Once, I was out with a few friends and some people they knew. We were out dancing in a club, and one girl fainted. We called an ambulance, but she said she was fine. We insisted she go, just to get checked out, but she kept refusing. The next day, we found out she had died in her sleep from dehydration and drug use.”

“That was the shittiest motivational story ever, Nyota, and I love you.”

“I’m just saying that whatever happens, Pavel’s going to make a choice, even if it isn’t the right one.”

“And if he gets hurt?”

Nyota fixes him with a hard stare. “Then you offer him help. And if he refuses, you ignore him and you make his ass get in that ambulance.”

* * *

 

They go out dancing to cap off Bi’s Day Out, and Hikaru catches McCoy all over Kirk on the dance floor. Hikaru looks around for Pavel, but doesn’t spot him anywhere. He taps Nyota and nods in their direction, and she practically guffaws in disbelief.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Nyota yells near his ear. She leads Hikaru to the bar and they do body shots off each other until Hikaru forgets about cute exes and their hot asshole boyfriends.

 

Nyota is still asleep when the door chime rings, and Hikaru wishes he had the ability to sleep that deeply when drunk. Alcohol tends to just make him more alert. Nevertheless, he answers the door, too tired and drunk to care that he’s only in his boxer briefs. They’re cool looking anyways, with little starships that glow in the dark.

At the sight of Pavel red-eyed in shorts and a t-shirt, Hikaru tries to hide how drunk he is, but ends up failing. “I’m drunk and you’re here.”

“I am sorry if I woke you,” Pavel begins. “I didn’t want to be alone anymore tonight.”

“Yeah, you’re cool,” Hikaru says nonsensically, stepping aside to allow Pavel entrance. “Be quiet or Nyota will hit you.”

“That was one time,” Nyota grumbles from the bed, “And you were screaming, not talking quietly.”

Hikaru frowns at her. “I thought you were asleep still.”

“No, I just wasn’t going to answer _your_ door for you.”

“Anyways,” Hikaru climbs back under the covers, but sits with his back against the wall. “What’s troublin’ you?”

Pavel sits on the edge gingerly, as if unsure that he’s allowed, and says, “Leonard said he -”

“I’m sorry, I have to interrupt real quick,” Nyota sits up somewhat, leaning against Sulu mostly, “but you can’t keep doing this. It’s unfair to Hikaru. You broke up with him, so you can’t ignore him and then dump your relationship problems on him like he’s some sort of emotional sponge. Because sponges are porous and the water doesn’t stay in them, it drips out, and it drips out on me, so if you complain about Leonard anymore, you’re obligated to spend at least one day a week hanging out with Hikaru as a friend and listen to him complain about herbology blogs not updating.”

Pavel looks pale, stricken by the curt deal, but he nods briefly. “Sorry. If you would like to go for a walk tomorrow, we can.”

Hikaru shrugs. “So what did Boyfriend of the Year do now?”

“He and I spent the day together, but then he wanted to go to a dance club and I told him I wanted to stay in. So he asked if he could go out and I said yes. But he hasn’t come back yet.”

Nyota snorts, and Hikaru shushes her. “Did you try to reach him?”

“He isn’t answering.”

“Well, Pavel, it’s four hundred hours and he was probably drinking. I don’t think you’re going to get a response from a lot of people under those conditions.”

Really, Hikaru is trying to avoid letting Pavel know that he saw Kirk grinding his ass on McCoy in the club McCoy running his hands all over Kirk’s body, because he’s too drunk and sleepy to be emotionally supportive right now.

“Okay,” Pavel nods. “Sorry to bother you.”

“Whatever. Make breakfast.”

“What?”

Hikaru and Nyota scoot over in bed as he tosses back the sheet and pats the empty space on the mattress. “You can make breakfast to make up for it.”

Pavel smiles softly as he accepts the invitation. It’s a tight fit, but Hikaru doesn’t mind being sandwiched between two of his favorite people.

He’s not sure if he imagined it, but Hikaru could have sworn he heard Pavel whisper “thank you” just before he fell asleep.

 

 

* * *

It doesn’t hurt as much as Hikaru thought it would to spend time with Pavel alone, but as they walk through a park, he finds himself missing the ease of which he and Pavel could transition through conversation topics.

When Hikaru spots McCoy at one point, leaning into Kirk, Hikaru feigns interest in some plant off the trail and leads Pavel away before he can notice.

 _Am I protecting him or myself_ , Hikaru wonders as he watches a caterpillar crawl under a leaf. He carefully lifts the caterpillar up and hands it to Pavel, who inspects it with genuine wonder and talks a mile a minute at guessing the genus and species.

“When this caterpillar becomes an adult, it will look beautiful,” Pavel explains somewhat wistfully.

Hikaru waits until he sees that McCoy and Kirk have disappeared from sight, and then says, “I think it’s cute the way it is now. It just eats a bunch and makes a cute sound when you touch its butt and doesn’t bother anyone. It has no beef with any other bugs, except hardass beetles who want to suck the life out of it.”

Pavel sighs and nods. “Beetles are the worst.”

“Most. Not all, but a good amount, yeah,” Hikaru agrees.

* * *

 

A lot of things happen all at once.

Spock breaks up with Nyota, and Hikaru nearly wants to fight him for it. Hikaru likes Spock, has a lot of respect and admiration for him (Spock likes Tupac as well), but when Nyota comes to him crying and not even out of her uniform yet, Hikaru is pretty sure he’s about to go down and fight the vulcan, even though he knows he’s horribly outmatched.

Everyone remembers what happened with Kirk.

“He said he didn’t feel ‘threatened’ by you - which is a load of horseshit, because Spock is incredibly jealous and possessive even if he doesn’t show it - but he suggested I ‘explore ventures elsewhere since we are both still young.’ Can you believe him?”

When Nyota stops pacing and yelling, Hikaru just asks, “Do you want me to eat you out or something? Want a foot rub? I think I still have a good bottle of moscato if you’re interested. Wow, I was really hoping I’d never have to be on the consoling end in this friendship. Spock is upsetting the pH of our friendship with his chalky attitude.”

Nyota laughs through the tears, and Hikaru decides that’s probably the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

 

Another thing that happens: McCoy dumps Pavel and in the same breath dares say he’s with Kirk. As if that was never blatant from the moment the two enter any room at the same time. There was a betting pool about how long Carol would last as Kirk’s girlfriend and it lasted all of six months. Hikaru lost a week of leave for his trouble.

This time, Hikaru doesn’t rub it in Pavel’s face that he knew McCoy was trouble from the get go. He just sighs with relief that it’s over, because he didn’t like how McCoy was treating his friend.

 

That was another thing that happened: Hikaru stops thinking of Pavel as an ex. When he realizes this, it’s as if a weight has lifted. Hikaru loves Pavel, sure, because Pavel is lovable and adorable and wonderful in so many ways, but Hikaru isn’t in love with Pavel and it's obvious that Pavel has some stuff to work through and isn't in love with Hikaru. Hikaru chalks it up to Pavel being his “first love” or whatever, but reconciling this with himself just makes all the worries and hangups dissipate.

In fact, the acknowledgement in himself makes Pavel seem to relax around him more. Hikaru realizes that Pavel’s probably tired of dating, tired of the drama, and briefly feels bad. But then he also realizes he’s only responsible for himself, and no one else.

So when all of this happens within the same week, Hikaru declares himself unavailable socially for twenty-four hours, because he needs a moment to just be there for Hikaru.

He hits the gym and listens to music while he lift weights (Sage the Gemini because Tupac isn’t weight lifting music). It’s been a while since he last pushed his body like this, but Hikaru misses it. He’s been so wrapped up worrying about other people and worshipping Nyota (which is a full-time job, and he imagines Spock ended things just because he couldn’t take it like the wimp he is) that he forgot to care for himself. Add in some rough away missions and trying to navigate through a thick asteroid belt, and Hikaru has owed himself some time away from people.

Hikaru even jerks off when he gets back to his room, and he didn’t think he’d ever be able to come again without Pavel there, but there he is, masturbating and feeling zero shame for it.

This week might suck for everyone else, but at least Hikaru is enjoying himself. Oh, and Kirk and McCoy, but Hikaru doesn’t dwell on them for long because he’s an adult and adults don’t get upset on behalf of their friends over their exes.

After his Hikaru Day, Hikaru brings Nyota some brownies and makes her come three times with his mouth and hands alone. Then he goes to check on Pavel to make sure he doesn’t need any friend head or pastries. Pavel seems mostly back to normal, aside from the obvious sad expression on his face. At least he’s back to writing math formulas on every available surface and listening to math rock.

No one is demanding much from Hikaru, and Hikaru really appreciates that.

* * *

 

After a few months, most of the weird tension on the bridge seems to disappear. Kirk and McCoy are disgusting as usual, but now Pavel joins Hikaru and Nyota in their silent grimacing (and sometimes in bed for non-grimacing activities). More than once, Hikaru thinks Spock is going to try to talk to Nyota again, especially as the days go on and it becomes clear that her and Hikaru aren’t going to surpass more than just friends.

In fact, it almost worries Hikaru, because now that he and Pavel are having sex again, he’s worried there’s a chance for feelings to develop again if Nyota’s not there to keep things balanced.

“You can’t fight the inevitable,” she warns as he scrubs the shampoo through her hair.

Hikaru sighs. “I know, but I’m not ready to begin dating again. I might never date again ever.”

“You’re lying. I can’t see you, but I know.”

Of course she knows; she’s Nyota.

Hikaru turns the water back on and twists on the water again. He carefully rinses the shampoo out from her hair under the faucet and says, “I might date again, but I don’t want to date Pavel again. Going all that time without him...he’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose that again even for a second. Besides, I think we work best as just friends.”

“Then tell him that.”

“But what if he wants a relationship?”

“What did I just say?” Nyota snaps.

“Okay but I don’t want him to be hurt!”

“Pavel is an adult and if he can’t handle a little rejection then he doesn’t need to be on this ship, to be blunt. You don’t get to where he is without sucking it up and trying other methods to get where you want.”

“God, it turns me on when you get all aggressive and honest. When I finish working the conditioner through your hair, we’re making out, alright?”

Nyota laughs hard enough that she shorts, and Hikaru has to stop what he’s doing to join her.

This is the kind of friendship he wants with Pavel, where he can joke about such without it being weird.

When they compose themselves again, Hikaru begins quietly, “Spock’s been watching you.”

“Spock is like a dog with a bone. He might have let me go, but at the first hint of someone else picking me up, he’ll come running back to snatch me up and mark his territory.”

“That’s gross.”

“I don’t say anything about you and the nasty shit you’re into, so you can shut up about my metaphors.”

Hikaru rinses out the conditioner, carefully combing through her hair as he blow dries it. He doesn’t do this often, but she had a hard day. A planet ruled under extreme matriarchy refused to acknowledge Kirk as captain, so Nyota had to fight for his honor. She did well enough, but her wrestling skills have been out of use for years and now her arms are sore. Hikaru doesn’t say it, because it’s oddly intimate, but he’s extremely proud of her. She handled negotiations on her own all day, representing the Federation all on her own through physical and mental capabilities, and she wasn’t even prepared for it.

“I love you so much,” Hikaru says quietly, lost in thought.

Nyota meets his eyes in the mirror, and her mouth twitches in a small smile.

“Wanna say that a little louder?”

“No, only you can know,” Hikaru kisses the back of her neck, then sets the blow dryer down and wraps his arms around her waist. “I’m really proud of you, Nyota.”

One hand covers her mouth in shock, and the other moves to where his hands rest on her stomach. “Shut up.”

“No. I’m proud of you and you’re pretty and you’re smart and you’re strong.”

Nyota covers her face, shaking her head. “Stop it, Hikaru.”

“You put up with me when I’m being dumb, you hang out with me when I’m being pathetic, and you emasculated our friend’s ex-boyfriend on behalf of Starfleet. You could probably beat me in a fight, and yet you’re the sweetest person I know and I don’t think people tell you these things enough.”

Nyota’s shoulders tremble as she tries to keep from openly sobbing, but tears are running down her face. “Hikaru...”

“No, wait, I’m not done!” He starts, but then she turns around and buries her face in his chest.

“You’ll never be done if I don’t tell you to shut up,” Nyota laughs. “But thanks, I needed to hear that. I love you too.”

Hikaru’s face reddens. “I’m not worthy.”

“Oh my god, if you don’t quit putting me on a pedestal, I will put you in a full nelson.”

“Is that a promise?” Hikaru asks, pressing a quick kiss to her temple then blocking her smack.

“It’s a threat, now detangle my hair and quit making me cry.”

Hikaru decides that Nyota’s flow might not be better than Tupac’s but Nyota lets him play in her hair, and that ranks her as Hikaru’s favorite person to ever exist. She doesn't say it in as many words as Hikaru does, but he knows she feels the same way. For someone who makes a living and reputation from being able to verbally communicate, Nyota prefers body language. She allows Hikaru touch at all times, of varying degrees of intimacy. She indicates that she  _trusts_ him, and all Hikaru wants is to be trusted, whether it's with piloting the ship or knowing when Nyota needs a hug or to be left alone. Even Spock mostly had trusted Hikaru to respect their relationship and not try anything with Nyota, even when it would have been so  _easy_ to do so.

Hikaru prides himself in his duties as an officer and a friend, and after today especially, the only captain he will acknowledge is the command of Nyota Uhura. She's always the one to give him guidance and direction, to tell him what to do when he's confused, to encourage him endlessly. She gives him what he needs, and so he returns the gesture, using the words she loves to tell her how he appreciates her.

And if he's heavy handed with the compliments, it's only because she's heavy handed with the disciplinary smacks.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to accomplish a lot of things with this fic, but I'll list only the three most important ones:  
> 1) Male/Female frienship can be platonic even when sex gets added!  
> 2) Bisexual POC exist I know hard to believe  
> 3) Uhura appreciation life
> 
> If you aint bout that life then warp into another timeline where you were never born. Someone's missing their fuckin idiot.


End file.
